Afternoon Prayer

We are too well pleased with ourselves,

When our dreams have come true

Because we have dreamed too little,

When we arrived safely

Because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess

We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;

Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity

And in our efforts to build a new earth,

We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas

Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,

We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back

The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future

In strength, courage, hope, and love.
(Prayer of Sir Francis Drake)

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I bind unto myself today
The strong Name of the Trinity,
By invocation of the same,
The Three in One and One in Three.

I bind this day to me for ever.
By power of faith, Christ's incarnation;
His baptism in the Jordan river;
His death on Cross for my salvation;
His bursting from the spicèd tomb;
His riding up the heavenly way;
His coming at the day of doom;*
I bind unto myself today.

I bind unto myself the power
Of the great love of the cherubim;
The sweet 'well done' in judgment hour,
The service of the seraphim,
Confessors' faith, Apostles' word,
The Patriarchs' prayers, the Prophets' scrolls,
All good deeds done unto the Lord,
And purity of virgin souls.

I bind unto myself today
The virtues of the starlit heaven,
The glorious sun's life-giving ray,
The whiteness of the moon at even,
The flashing of the lightning free,
The whirling wind's tempestuous shocks,
The stable earth, the deep salt sea,
Around the old eternal rocks.

I bind unto myself today
The power of God to hold and lead,
His eye to watch, His might to stay,
His ear to hearken to my need.
The wisdom of my God to teach,
His hand to guide, His shield to ward,
The word of God to give me speech,
His heavenly host to be my guard.

Against the demon snares of sin,
The vice that gives temptation force,
The natural lusts that war within,
The hostile men that mar my course;
Or few or many, far or nigh,
In every place and in all hours,
Against their fierce hostility,
I bind to me these holy powers.

Against all Satan's spells and wiles,
Against false words of heresy,
Against the knowledge that defiles,
Against the heart's idolatry,
Against the wizard's evil craft,
Against the death wound and the burning,
The choking wave and the poisoned shaft,
Protect me, Christ, till Thy returning.

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I bind unto myself the Name,
The strong Name of the Trinity;
By invocation of the same.
The Three in One, and One in Three,
Of Whom all nature hath creation,
Eternal Father, Spirit, Word:
Praise to the Lord of my salvation,
Salvation is of Christ the Lord.

I have discovered Scrap-booking

and I am having fun with it! Digital scrap-booking is probably going to be my norm, however, I am also dealing with the boxes and bags full of photographs that I have floating around the house -- as well as the "non-archival" photo albums that I stopped building about 10 years ago. I am going to redo most of those photo-albums, as I get time. I'm in a "working backwards" sort of mood; I'm starting with the youngest pictures in iPhoto and trying to do one year at a time. I've purchased four 12 by 12 inch scrapbooks and will add the two 8.5 by 11 scrapbooks I purchased today to the collection.

Of course, this has all been a result of my "Project Order from Chaos" that I started at the beginning of the year. I've not posted any lists or photos since the end of January; I may do that in a few minutes, but that does not mean that I am not going ahead with the project. In a way, I realized that the documentation of the journey is important, but I have been concentrating on the DOING and the BEING of it rather than the recording of it.

I have been in this process for quite a while. I wrote about it back in 2004. It's been more than 6 years since I started this reforming/transforming/reshaping of self. I've lost the ability to use words about the whole thing; I find myself steeped in a sort of silence.

The scrap-booking is another form of self-therapy; it helps me form tangible items to represent memory. The further back I go, the deeper I go, the more unveiled the purpose seems to be. One day maybe I'll have words for all this.

Thoughts for a Monday; Project Order from Chaos.

Items not used - clothing still with tags, gifts given and never opened, junk mail, stacks of paper on desks, unused kitchen gadget, tchotchkes, gewgaws, knickknacks, and trinkets - all add to our mental clutter . Not only do they weigh us down, they drain our energy by overwhelming us with feelings of shame and dread. We are beloved Children of God made to love. Why love things that can't love us back?

Here's a thought -- Donald Winnicott theorized that we need transitional objects to move from one phase to another. Most of the time it's a kid's lovey: a teddy bear, a blanket. Do adults need these transitional objects as well to move from one point in their lives to another? Is that one of the reasons we clutter up our lives?

Also from Winnicott -- according to Wikipedia -- "When the person has to comply with external rules, such as being polite or following social codes, then a False self is used. The False self is a mask of the false persona that constantly seeks to anticipate demands of others in order to maintain the relationship." Do we use our 'stuff' and excess of possessions to create that false self? What would happen if we stripped away all that was unnecessary in our lives? Could we then be our true self that God intended us to be?

Kitty Midnight Madness!

Happy Birthday, Bill! (One candle for each decade. Seemed easier and less likely to cause a massive house fire -- or at least set off the fire alarm.)

Project Order from Chaos, Day 35.

Organized the office supply cabinet. It still looks a little messy, but it's much better than it was! I took out a stack of old, yellowed or crumpled paper to use a scratch paper for homeschooling. I also weeded out some binders and thermofax paper and made labels for the shelves. I'm slowing down. I need something for a shot in the arm, as this is beginning to get old...

Project Order from Chaos, Day 34.

This is the reason I made Cumin Coffee the other day rather than Cinnamon Coffee.  The cinnamon is on the left and the cumin is on the right.  Easy mistake to make.

Items given away --
(135) skirt

(136) 3 skirts
(137) one blouse
(138) one knit top
(139) sweater
(140) green pant

(141) skirt
(142) two green sweaters

(143) 3 skirts

(144) one green very small terrycloth robe, new with tags

Items given away

(134) Two organizer thingys I don't need.

Project Order from Chaos, Day 33.

Items given away
(129) White Girl's Shirt
(130) Green Corduroy Jacket
(131) Brown Party Dress

(132) Sparkly sweater

(133) 11 pairs of kid's jeans.

My first digital scrapbook page.

This is fun.  That is all.

Project Order from Chaos, Day 31.

I received back all my developed photographs from 35 rolls of film; approximately 1000 photos.
(127) Throw away one stack
(128) Give away one stack
Keep one stack. The negatives and packaging will be thrown away after the albums appear online and all photos will be placed in a photo album or scrapbook or be culled out.
Onward we go!

Quote

"You must let go of a thing for a new one to come to you.” Attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson

Project Order from Chaos, Day 28. Thought of the Day.

A lexicon to use to describe people who accumulate too many things. (Found here.)

• HOARDERS – Can be referred to as hunter/gatherers
• PACK RATS – Stockpile haphazardly and seldom use the things that are stored
• CLUTTERERS – An out of control need to accumulate things
• COLLECTORS – Orderly, systematic organization of things, often on display

To this list, I would add:

• PASSIVE ACCUMULATORS - People who inherit things from others and want to do the "right thing" by it and those who don't throw away the broken item when it is replaced.

Bill and I are a bit of several of these.  I would say we are more than 50 percent "Passive Accumulators" with a bit of a "Pack Rat" mentality and a lot of a "Collector" mentality.

Much of what we own we inherited.  I would say that we have absorbed several households -- perhaps as many as 4 (My Papa's, my grandmother's, my parents and part of Bill's grandfather's).  We have duplicates of lots of things -- furniture and household items.  Many of the items are better quality than Bill and I originally owned.  Many of the items have sentimental value.  A lot of the items have monetary value (if you can find the market for them.)  What we have lacked is TIME and SPACE.

The things that are obviously trash are easy to dispose of -- just throw it away.  Other things are easy to give away -- especially if I don't have any emotional connection.  But others we are keeping in our lives because it hurts somehow to dispose of it.

An Example:  We have two decorative baskets that were in our downstairs bath and our master bath.  They aren't very robust; I don't think they were made to last all that long.  I've repaired the one in the downstairs bathroom.  Here's a picture of it that I posted earlier this week with other items I had marked "give away."

Bill's gut reaction to this pile of "give away" was so very visceral, "But my Mommy made that."  And that she did.  She made it several years ago with her own hands and gave it to us to use and enjoy.  When I heard he say what he said, my heart broke a little.  How well I understand that!  She's no long with us to shower us with her love and affection -- she's no longer with us to make us any more gifts. After a brief discussion, we agreed to give it away and keep the other that is in better condition and try to repair it.

Dr. Ted Hackett told a story to our sacrament class long ago about a man and a tube of lipstick.  He had that tube of lipstick in his pocket for a long time and when he laid dying, he refused to allow that tube of lipstick out of his possession.  People wondered why -- but to those who knew the rest of the story understood.  This was his wife's tube of lipstick; while she lay dying, he would carefully outline her lips with it and apply it gently.  It was his last and lasting service of love to his wife.  It had become a ritual item, a holy relic to him.

We have a hard time giving up small meaningless items so very often because they have become relics.  Of course, we still have the memory of the person, but these items become our physical prompt.  And for some of us, this is the main reason we become a "clutterer" or a "hoarder."  God bless us all.

Project Order from Chaos, Day 27.

Items to give away:
(121) cornucopia basket
(122) six soup bowls with handles

(123) Playhut
(124) 100 ballpit balls, still in box

125) Twilight series
(126) Gospel CD, still in wrapping

4 and a half days ahead of schedule -- I've run out of things to donate in kitchen right now, I think I'll turn to the garage to sort.

Project Order from Chaos, Day 27. Thought of the day.

Out of Clutter, Find Simplicity.
From Discord, Find Harmony.
In the Middle of Difficulty Lies Opportunity.
--Albert Einstein (Three Rules of Work)

Project Order from Chaos, Day 26. Dwelling in Chaos, Have Been I.

I have been contemplating this "Project Order from Chaos" for quite a while. I wrote more than two years ago this:

The central thesis for my "Theology of Space" is indeed this -- Unless the exterior life reflects the interior and the interior live reflects the exterior, you live in a cognitive dissonance; you are living in conflict. I have absolutely no problem spending an hour or two a day in contemplation and prayer, attending to my interior life. However, I don't spend that time working on the total exterior life; my physical shape, my grooming habits, my living spaces and my creative nature. So that will be my goal this year -- either to become a complete intellectual, spiritual and emotional slob or to get my exterior life in line with my interior.

How well have did I do with these goals?  I re-read the entire posting: I did indeed get rid of all the books in the garage.  We have worked on both estates that need to be finished.  I have continued to push to get the entire house "done."  We live in less chaos that we did BUT ... I'm not finished.  Or maybe I should say we're not finished.  Since I wrote those words, I have started homeschooling and accumulated more stuff; different stuff.  The garage has gone from a clutter level 5 to a clutter level 3.  I have pared down the amount of items in the kitchen cabinets, in the laundry room.  Our bed room and the girls' rooms have been painted and decorated.  I have organized my closet more than once.  I have made myself a place in the bedroom for study.  I have organized and moved furniture into a parsonage.

Did I accomplish my goals?  No.  But I am letting go of the "shoulda, woulda, coulda" and the guilt of it all; that's all just mental clutter.  And I will strive on to perfection.  One day, it will all be done.  The more space I make in my life, the more I can live.

Enough for now.

Project Order from Chaos, Day 25. Thought of the day.

The more we own, the more we have responsibility over. The more we have the responsibility over, the more time we must use for its upkeep; the less time we have to inhabit the spaces God is to be found. Get rid of excess; make room for God.

Project Order from Chaos, Day 25.

Items to give away:
(117) stack of pots and pans
(118) twirly-ma-jiggy
(119) lampshade (replacement on order)
(120) basket from bathroom

Kitchen cabinet, after.
Still sorta grubby -- need to scrub and paint, as necessary.

Kitchen cabinet, before.
Can't find anything and grubby.

Casting bread upon the waters... or as The Message phrases it:

Be generous: Invest in acts of charity. Charity yields high returns.
Don't hoard your goods; spread them around.
Be a blessing to others. This could be your last night. (Ecc 11:1-2)

I received notecards from #MercyPercolator -Thanks! and a beautiful teapot from a friend after I noted Lauren's love of tea.  Be generous! Blessings will come back to you!