my husband woke up with a sore and aching back. several hours and doctors later we discover he has a slipped disk. a week of forced bedrest and good drugs. it's not a bad thing, it can be used as a time for slowing down a little, a time for reflection and refocusing. sometimes events conspire and make us regroup, especially when we won't slow down and refocus by ourselves. we have made some executive decisions -- i am going to skip church and the whole family is going to stay home tonight. we don't spend time together, as it is. simple dinner, down time for the kids and myself, rest for my husband. i am going to spend the time on the exegetical paper that is due next week. i am going to try and finish in the next couple of days. i am learning the beauty of having things done in plenty of time and the grace of having a known and fixed schedule for myself and the kids. but there is beauty and grace in letting go of it as well.
beauty and grace. we get our self image and self esteem so often by what we are and what we do. i had no problem with self image when i worked at the local science center and was an "expert" in my field. at home mommies have less self esteem and prestigue in this society. beauty is external and grace is measured in our society.
but if we live a life of faith, beauty permeates all things and grace is unmeasured, poured out and heaping. even with slipped disks and unwritten papers, bible studies untaught and lazy evenings at home.
the girls have covered up my husband with their favorite blankets and are "fixing" a cup of hot chocolate for the sore and aching daddy, the kitty cat is sleeping on top of him (probably leaking, as she tends to do), I have a full laptop battery and strong wifi signal, the day is closing, dinner is on the stove and we sit right now in a moment of peace.