Seriously. It starts:
"On June 3, 2005 at 10:45 p.m. in Memphis, Tennessee, Dorothy Gibson Cully, 86, died peacefully, while in the loving care of her two favorite children, Barbara and David. All of her breath leaked out."
Read the entire thing here.
I found it on a cool new blog (well, new to me) called the Church Lady Chronicles. I want her to be my personal assistant.