Sunday, October 16, 2005

Sunday Nap

I just got up from a nap. Entropy joined me. She's been a "stick-tight" today. She sat with me at the 8:30 service snuggling right up under my arm, she held my hand all during the service, playing with my fingers. She volunteered to acolyte at the 11:00 service so that she could sit right next to me at that sevice as well. At lunch she snuggled up right next to me again, sitting at the boring adult table instead of the kids table. That was a first in a long time.

She's been right next to me all day, including the Sunday afternoon nap. She draped herself over me on the sofa. She's not a big thing -- she's on the short side and a little light weight for her age. Chaos easily outweighs her two to one. I was snoozing and she snuggled on me entwining her limbs with mine. It's been a long time since she's done this. After a couple of minutes, she jumped up, ran upstairs and got Cassie the lion. She said, "Cassie is scared."

I said, "Oh? What's she scared of?"

"Hospitals." Oh. I know baby, I know. You see, Entropy is getting her tonsils out on Friday.

Entropy fell asleep on top of me, little kisses interspersed with pats on my cheek. She said, "I feel sorry for kids with skinny mamas. Mamas should be soft and fat and happy."

As we snoozed, I thought back about other times Cassies has been frightened or scared. Cassie was scared of the dark a few years back and we had to get Cassie a nightlight. Cassie was frightened of the first day of school. Cassie's fur has absorbed quite a number of tears. She told me once, "Cassie is scared of being alone."

"Really? Why do you think?"

"Her great-grandmama died, and then her Anmama died, and then her other Grandmama and now she's scared I'm going to die." Oh baby, I know.

When we got up, she asked me, "Can Cassie go with me to the hospital?"

"Yes, she can."

"Can she stay in your purse while I'm getting my tonsils out? Will you take care of her for me?"

"Yes, Baby, I will take care of her."

She kissed me again and patted my cheek. "Good." A long pause and then she said, "Mama, is Cassie going to heaven when she dies?"

"Yes baby, I've never been more certain of anything. Cassie is most certainly going to go to heaven."

"Good." And I know she will.

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