What the RevMommy family does on the weekend

Yeah! It's the day after my birthday!

For my birthday I got:
a big box of books from Pitts Theology Library.
a HUGE basket of Mums from the LH (the kids are calling it a "shrub" it's so big).
Final Cut Express (software)
"Prayer" by Karl Barth, edited by Don Saliers (I'm going to get Don to sign it during class next week).
Communion in the Chapel with Don being the celebrant (OK, he didn't do this for my birthday, but anyway....)
Lunch with a good friend
dinner at the Japanese steakhouse
I didn't answer my cell phone all day.
I didn't answer email all day.
I may not do them again today.

What I did do yesterday is that I have contemplated is my ancient and advanced age. Sigh.

Ancient, am I. Of course I formed my opinion of ancient when I was 20 and 40 was ancient. I may have to reform my concept of ancient.....

Woo Hoo!

Pitts Theology Library is holding a book sale today!!
Woo Hoo!
I picked up a 1912 1st edition book written by Warren Candler -- that he gave to Pitts. For those who don't know, Bishop Candler was integral in moving Emory from Oxford to Decatur Georgia.
I also picked up 3 Books of Worship from 1964 that are imprinted with "Durham Chapel" -- Durham Chapel is now Pitts Library -- we dedicated Cannon Chapel in 1981. I think that when the new buildings are built, they will rededicate a "teaching chapel" and perhaps they will call it Durham Chapel.
I picked up also a 1874 copy of Milton's Poems.
Woo Hoo!

Note: I write this as I sit and listen to Don Saliers speak of the sovereingity of God. I better stop now and pay attention. Who ever put wireless in this building was EVIL.

Just in case you MIGHT be interested

The paper of the day: the first two lectures in William James' Varieties of Religious Experience.
Lovely.

A run-on sentence

I have a paper due at 8:00 tomorrow morning and I don't think I'm going to finish because for the first time in SEVERAL days I have a stable internet connection and I can't stop reading BLOGS and boy am I going to regret that in the morning because the silly paper comparing circumcisions and baptisms won't be finished in time because I am reading BLOGS and so I may have to turn off the brand new router so that I can finish my paper instead of reading BLOGS BUT I will develop willpower and stop reading BLOGS until the silly paper is finished.

Wish me luck.

Internet

Internet. Sick. Bad Router. Must call Geek.

I've done a video

for this morning -- a prayer meditation for 9/11. I'll post it later on my video blog. If you want the URL, just let me know in the comments or email me.

It's actually good, if I do say so myself.

Seminary Corrupts the Mind

Proof:

Statement of the day:  "So Dr. Saliers, what you are saying is that Caputo's take on Deconstructuralism and Phenomonology takes Postmodernity further -- past reductionism and realitivism into a sort of nihilism? Or perhaps what he is looking for through his deconstruction is for that which cannot be deconstructed -- and with that hope he can enter into a second naivete, as espoused by Barth and Ricoeur? In other words, postmodern thought, even though taken to its logical extremes becomes this reductionistic realitivism and even nihilism, is the ultimate search for the Absolute?"

Yes, I actually said that.

Your basic half-baked thought

I've been able today to spend some time thinking and meditating and praying. I really missed that during the summer. I enjoy a quiet house in the morning, a cup of coffee, no music or sound around, lighting some candles and sitting and praying.

I've been watching a lot of video clips for a project I'm working on for Monday -- one was a vintage science film about Brownian Motion. I was mesmerized by watching the little particles move around. It actually reminded me of the toddler room a the church.... But I realized that it represents my life. Nothing stays the same, everything shifts and moves. I'm always looking for stuff that sprouts legs and moves. Today it was the Elmer's glue.

I'm always surprised when I drive down a street for the first time in a couple of months at "instant subdivision." Just add water and stir.

Things are always in motion.

But in this film, the stirring rod was the constant. It never moved. Of course, I know it did move... eventually, but it was stable in that environment. It provided a point of reference in a ever changing world.

I wonder if God is the ultimate expression of stillness. God can be our point of reference in an ever-changing world. Maybe we cannot know God because we don't understand stillness. My stillness in the morning is my greatest expression of true Religious Experience. I only can hear God in this stillness.

So I think I'll just sit a while. Will you join me?

It's time for school...

for me as well as the kids. I've been in school for a very long time, or so it seems.

The United Methodist Church is different than other denominations, in some ways. When I was Baptist (oh so long ago), to become an ordained pastor, the only authority you had to appeal to was your own congregation. No education, no Board of Ordained Ministry, no nothing. Of course, it was expected that you would continue to grow and learn and what not. But few (if any) hoops to jump through.

The Lutherans have strictly defined hoops. Three years of seminary, field ed and then an internship year. Very structured. Thats beginning to appeal to me.

The UMC most definitely has hoops. Although to get started on the path to pastorhood, it really doesn't take very many jumps. I went to License to Preach school with some very fine people -- some of which hadn't even finished college, much less seminary. They became Local Pastors and the LPs of our church do a lot of good. They take churches in the rural areas that just simply couldn't afford a seminary trained pastor. They take churches that a seminary trained pastor probably WOULDN'T take. Most of them really know where the rubber hits the road. I hear that there are conferences that are 70 percent (or higher) Local Pastors.

Then there are the Student Pastors -- I think that's what I'm considered at the moment, although I've been appointed as a Local Pastor to my church. They are the seminary students -- most of them will become full Elders, in due time. They take churches and either go to school during the week and drive home to their church on the weekend, or they have a longish commute.

After that, we have the Deacons. This is a "terminal ordination" (as I heard it described one day.) It's a seminary trained person who feels the call to serve as a bridge between the laity and the clergy -- called to Word perhaps but not to Sacrament.

Then there are Elders. To become an elder, you must have a seminary education. You go through a discernment process with a mentor, you become certified as a candidate by the District Board of Ordained Ministry. You write bunches of papers and record a sermon or two for the Board to examine. You write some Bible studies. You have long interviews by the Board -- very long for some, just a couple of days for others. If you pass muster, you become a Probitionary Member -- you have 3 years to serve as a minister before you get ordained. Once you become ordained in a conference, you are guaranteed an appointment until you retire.

I am currently a Local Pastor and a Student Pastor. I've done the basic interviews. I'm writing the papers. I'm doing the school work. I have taken it really slow, but I'm getting tired of school. I have learned so very much by serving a church at the same time I have gone to school. But I'm getting tired of school. This is my 6th (or 7th??) year of school past my undergrad work -- my 5th at Candler. I just feel ready to move on.

So I've prayed (imagine that!) and contemplated what to do this semester. If I take a full load this semester and next, I can graduate. I may not get the grades I'm used to getting -- but I can graduate. I may not finish all the ordination papers this year, but I can graduate. I will have to really cut back the hours I do at church (which has already happened b/c of CPE), but I can graduate.

My first class today had 8 (eight) books of required reading -- over 1200 pages. If the other classes are the same, I'm going to be reading a lot, but I can graduate.

Y'all pray for me. I need it. The next few months will be grueling, but I will be able to graduate.

Labor Day at Lake Lanier

Birthday zOOm

to Stacey of
The Almond Branch.
Stacey is:
Never boring to be around
Faithful
Thoughtful
Beautifully sarcastic (when she wishes)
Caring
A Punk Young Pastor
Amused by my youngest child
and yesterday
Cold.

Happy Birthday Stacey! My life is richer by knowing you!

and another Birthday zOOM to Hugh of
Standing Room Only
Hugh is:
owned by Polly
Beloved by Gordon
Funny and tall
deliciously wicked (when he wants)
and missed in the chatroom.

Happy Birthday Hugh! And I pray for many happy returns!

A New Video

Found at the Work of the People

I will never be able to use this in worship, but it is powerful. It is about human trafficking in real life and the internet. Sobering.

This and That

and the other thing.

First, that article in my previous posting is indeed making its rounds in the internet -- or at least the RevGal part of the internet. I don't know what to think. I do know that through my experience and what I have observed, I will never, ever have "big church" by myself. My children's generation -- well, maybe.

I've worked in a male-dominated world before. When I was in the computer world and attending computer shows, I was never taken seriously until I pulled out the corporate checkbook. When it was realized that I controlled the money, the geeks would talk to me. But their memories were really short and the next day, I'd have to pull out the checkbook again.

I've seen men work in a female dominated world recently as well -- in the hospital there are a handful of male nurses. In a children's hospital, that is truly rare. And I must say, they were treated differently. Most of them were treated with great respect until people realized they weren't doctors and then the male nurses were looked at as if they had two heads. An oddity.

I know so many clergywomen who don't get the respect until they wear a "uniform" of some sort -- the Anglicans and Lutherans have it easy b/c they can wear the collar. It was interesting to listen to BBT on NPR the other day talk about taking the collar off. How it's a full circle. Hmmm....

Anyway, I've been very quiet this week because I am working on a video to use in our prayer time this Sunday. It's called "A Lament for Katrina" and I am going to upload it to mac dot com. If you want to see it, drop me an email at candlemb at bellsouth.net and I'll email you the URL. It is still rendering (much faster with the Duo-Core, btw) -- 42 minutes more to render, then the upload will take forever, but it should be done this afternoon.

NY Times has a great article

The Stained Glass Ceiling
Interviews from two people I KNOW.

Maybe I'll just stick to statistics.

It's funny

I've spent 12 (really 13) weeks in CPE now. I was getting very used to getting pushed and stretched. I had so much to say and so little time to say it in. I became very tender (sore) and really open. I stopped using makeup -- and started using my real name in my favorite chatroom instead of "reverend mommy."

I now have had a little time to process stuff -- time to think and even sometime to begin dreaming again. And it's funny. What I am using to find comfort is mathematics -- I'm compiling statistics and doing statistical analysis for a congregational analysis. Yes, I am going to use it in Teaching Parish -- in October! But I'm doing it now for the sheer comfort of it. It's really analytic and really cerebral. I don't think it's a permanent retreat -- it's just a respite. I'll do more of the "self-awareness" stuff, but its going to be in a little while (actually in a couple of weeks). I'm giving myself a sort of break.

And I giggle because very few (VERY few) people use statistics and analysis of statistics (Oooo!! I could do a ANOVA between my 5 groups!!) for comfort. Heh. (Woo Hoo! a ANOVA regression analysis! Yeah boy!)

In fact, that's hilarious! hee hee hee.

UPDATE:
This just in!! I was tired of doing everything in Excel. I mean, it's a great little spreadsheet program, but it's so hard to get it to do what I want it to do. I've used some freeware/shareware in the past and they were.... ok (I guess). So, I surfed around for a few minutes and found this. Oh. My. Goodness.

With this product, some good chocolate and a glass of red wine, I think I'm in heaven. Too bad I can't use the computer in the bathtub -- but I could use some candles....

Another Christian Product

In-Souls

To quote their website:

"Inspirational Scripture Shoe Inserts

Designed to aid in the daily prayer, meditation and growth of a strong spiritual relationship with Christ.

In-Souls inserts are designed to provide a tangible support to assist Christians to literally "walk in the word of the Lord." Worn in the right shoe, each one provides a related scripture and affirmation. To enhance the spiritual walk with God, the inserts help one to "stand" on His Word, meditating on it day and night. Inserts may be alternated daily to help cultivate the word of God in your life. Look for other In-Souls sets to cover a variety of topics - from trust, obedience, patience and redemption to marriage, work and body image."

They vaguely remind me of Tefillin or phylacteries, which are the two boxes containing Biblical verses that have black leather straps attached to them to strap them onto the arm or forehead. They are used in rabbinic Jewish prayer, but then removed for the rest of the day.

I suppose this is disturbing to me because the foot was considered (at the time of Christ) as the dirtiest part of the body. It doesn't seem to be a sign of respect.

Again, Christian marketing the leaves me speechless.

I have nothing at all to say

I feel drained. One on-call left and then life starts over again: school, home, church and the like.

CPE has been one of the most valuable experiences in my life so far. I'm planning on a residency year after I graduate.

But for today, I'm drained. So here are some more news stories that have caught my eye:

Teens for Pologamy

Bush Signs Law to Protect Giant Crosses

Granny's Take on Adam and Eve

T-t-that's All Folks!

Lectionary Leanings

For those of you preaching the Ephesians text this week, it's not too late to get these.

Or maybe it is.

Pick my jaw up off the floor, I'm speechless.

Random Quotations Meme

From Linda

It's an easy one to do. The rules: "Go here and look through random quotes until you find 5 that you think reflect who you are or what you believe."

Here are mine:

The forceps of our minds are clumsy forceps, and crush the truth a little in taking hold of it.
H. G. Wells (1866 - 1946), 1903

I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.
Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962)

The self is not something ready-made, but something in continuous formation through choice of action.
John Dewey (1859 - 1952)

Facing it, always facing it, that's the way to get through. Face it.
Joseph Conrad (1857 - 1924)

I have learned that to be with those I like is enough.
Walt Whitman (1819 - 1892)

And a bonus

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.
Albert Einstein

And some of my very favorite of all time

Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.
G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936)

There used to be a real me, but I had it surgically removed.
Peter Sellers (1925 - 1980)

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August.
Ronnie Shakes

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)

News

News Stories that have captured my imagination:

Man Stuck in Vat of Chocolate. The horror of it all.

The family that Shoots together Stays together

Not Goldfinger but Goldfang

The world is so varied.

Partially Realized

For generations, theologians have been debating if we are living in a partially realized eschatology. To be honest, there are days that I believe we are and days where it doesn't seem to matter.

What I would like to propose is slightly different. I believe that we are living in a partially realized Startrekology.

My evidence: Last week, I gave my husband my old flash drive (Lexar -- it's been a real workhorse). I lost the cap a long time ago, but it's been so very useful. I kept it on my keychain with my anointing oil and my WiFi detector. I took it off the keychain because with my Kroger cards, miniture charge cards and whatnot, the keys became too heavy. I went to Target and was shopping around and realized that we are already living in the "kingdom of Star Trek." I saw this little Microvault -- it's a flash drive as small as my thumbnail (literally). They even come in all sorts of pretty colors. Up to 2 gig of data. Does this not remind you of those pretty "data prisms" of some of the earlier Star Trek episodes? I pulled out my cellphone -- a thin little flip-phone (communicator) to call my husband. I had already placed a new PDA (PADD in "The Next Generation") in the cart along with a digital picture frame (do you remember Data's pictures of his cat Spot in "TNG"?)

I left a voice-mail -- I could have sent a little video (Captain, we have a message from Star Fleet!), but decided to send an email with my laptop. So first I pulled out my WiFi detector (Captain! We are picking up a information network on sensors!) and emailed my loving husband.

Partially realized. I can't wait for replicators and transporters. Or sonic showers.

(*note: OK, I didn't do ALL those things in Target. I leave the laptop behind some of the time. But you get the idea.)

Totally fluffly entry

I've got a shin splint from walking and standing without proper support. It's hard to find a shoe with proper support that looks dressy enough -- and one you can stand on for hours.

The doctor has warned me off of any heel higher than 1 inch -- even harder. So here's my shopping list.


This shoe is one I've had before. Great support, but nice lines with a tailored trouser. (Birkenstock, can you believe it.)


I really like the color of this shoe -- and the delicate detail. It will look great with shorter trousers. (Clarks)


These -- well, they felt great, but I don't know if I like how they look.



These I LOVE. I don't think they have the support I need, but they would be lovely for just kicking around.

My feet hurt today. Maybe that's why I'm obsessing about shoes....

Just Thinking

I'm sitting in the very quiet and dark chaplaincy office this morning -- on call for 24 hours. I got here at 8:30 and received a page at, you guessed it, 8:30 that I've just finished at 11:45. So I'm tired already.

What has struck me about this experience is how differently I am thinking about words. I had thought of what words -- and sweated over what words -- that I would need to use. And the fact of the matter is, they just don't matter. The family this morning was hispanic and I don't speak Spanish. Yet I was a pastor for them. It was my presence, prayers and touch that mattered. The "right words" will never hit that mark without the presence and the touch.

That is why this medium seems so very limited to me. I cannot use my hands to speak, I cannot touch the listener, I cannot be present, really present with the listener.

Henri Nouwen said, "Somewhere we know that without silence words lose their meaning, that without listening speaking no longer heals, that without distance closeness cannot cure.”

It seems so periodic or cyclic to me. You have to have words, then silence, then words. You have to have listening, then speaking; distance then closeness -- and finally distance again.

I want to tell you all about some of my experiences here -- but they seem too tender and they really don't belong to me. But I will say that death is a sacred thing and I have shared sacred moments. I am grateful for those moments.

So now, I will rest and wait for the next page. And in a little while maybe I will have enough energy to pray. But maybe just sitting here and resting in the Presence is enough prayer. I don't think I'll need the words.

An Analogy

or allegory or whatever.

I have this incredible urge to find out little bits of trivia. Basic curosity type stuff; trying to understand the world type stuff.

Anyway, we were sitting around in the Chaplaincy office one afternoon and were dwelling in the age-old mystery: Is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable? Of course, I could not dwell long in that mystery because of my need to know. So I looked it up. To a biologist a tomato is a fruit -- a berry to be precise. However, the Supreme Court in the late 1800's judged a tomato to be a vegetable. So a tomato is both.

Or is it? Perhaps when speaking to a biologist, I need to understand their label of "berry" or "fruit," but if speaking to a politician or legal counsel, I need to use that label of "vegetable." Our labels are of our own making -- and speak to our own need. Some of us can embrace one label, other another, while some can embrace all labels. Even the word "tomato" is a label -- meaning that squishy red round thing that you grow in your yard and put in spaghetti sauce.

Where do I label things? Can I embrace all labels? When is there need for precise use of labels, will I be able and willing to do that?

Hmmm....

Stick a Fork in Me

I'm done.

Well, with the group portion of CPE. All that's left is three days and three (!) overnight on-calls (to make up the time I missed when I was sick with the stuff you only get in the hospital.)

So, stick a fork in me.

O gracious light,
pure brightness of the everliving Father in heaven,
O Jesus Christ, holy and blessed!
Now as we come to the setting of the sun,
and our eyes behold the vesper light,
we sing your praises, O God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
You are worthy at all times to be praised by happy voices,
O Son of God, O Giver of Life,
and to be glorified through all the worlds.

Dearest Lord,
Tomorrow is a day of new beginnings for a lot of school children.
Help them to see You in all they do -- help them to see You in the faces of the teachers and the other children in the school.
Help them be attentive to the students, teachers, staff and classmates who may be very different; Help them listen for God in all, even if they don’t think they are going to find God there.
Be with them and keep watch over them.
Amen.

More Learnings from CPE

CPE is indeed one of the most valuable things you can do for yourself and your ministry. Yourself FIRST so that you can be a better minister. There have been bits that have been wonderful. And the work as a chaplain is absolutely fabulous.

That said, it's also sort of like a forced enema.

And finally to quote one of my colleagues, "I don't want to be any more self-aware right now. I want to be a cat."

Meow.

Interesting Synthesis

I’ve been working on an interesting synthesis. There is a body of research about marriages, specifically traditional marriages verses egalitarian marriages with which I am fascinated. There is an article on line at here that examines some of the research that Drs. David H. Olson and Shuji G. Asai of the University of Minnesota, published in 2003 as well as some of the data gathered by Barna. Dr. Preato’s conclusion is that in egalitarian marriages people are happier, enjoy more intimacy and demonstrate less spousal abuse (by almost a 60% margin.) Preato backs his claims that the true model for a marriage and the Biblical model for a marriage is the egalitarian model with some very interesting exegesis.

I am aware of other research found here at Princeton that deals with congregational satisfaction. I remember looking at this body of research or the generation before and being shocked at basic “Methodist satisfaction” – that is the satisfaction of the church with their pastor and the satisfaction of the pastor with their church. It is lower than most others. Not too surprising, though, I thought in retrospect. After all, the Pastor has that prophetic edge that can be uncomfortable for most congregations. But it is also an artifact of the itinerancy system.

Third fact: there is a rise in most conference’s equitable compensation numbers. This is a matter of public record and can be found on the internet. Equitable comp is paid to a pastor from the conference when the church that she/he is pastoring is unable to make the salary. This could be because most of the rural congregations in American are aging and on a fixed income but another factor is most definitely pastoral competence. Once a Methodist minister is made a full elder, it becomes very difficult to put him/her out to pasture – or to force them to resign. But I wonder if some of this need for equitable comp is because the marriage between pastor and congregation is a dysfunctional one.

If we look at various and sundry liturgies of ordination, it’s evident that there is more “submission language” in the Methodist liturgy than, for instance, the Episcopalian liturgy. I begin to wonder if there are parallels between the research done by Preato in egalitarian marriages and what he calls “traditional” marriages (what I would call a submissive marriage) and the way that the Methodist system works.

I am sure that if I looked hard enough, I could find instances of a pastor being abusive to the congregation within this system, with the minister knowing that there is little that can be done by the congregation to remove him/her because the pastor is there appointed by the Bishop and is not there because of a call by the congregation. Likewise, I know I can find places that congregations have been abusive to pastors because this is basically an arranged marriage.

Then I wonder if there is evidence of DSs being abusive to pastors and Bishops being abusive to DSs.

All this is not definitive. I would need more research into the hard and fast numbers. Also, just because a marriage is traditional does not mean that automatically it is an abusive marriage, just that the possibility of abuse exists. There are definite beauties to the Methodist system – I believe that it was Friedman that observed that a congregation that knows their pastor will not be around “forever" – a congregation that is prepared to lose their pastor every year becomes a better differentiated congregation. It becomes stronger and much less dependent on the minister and thus, in the long run, happier.

But it does give me something to think about and mull over for a while.

I was Tagged

way back at the end of June by Osray and CPE has had me busy.

R

1. Race. I'm racing time to finish my CPE paperwork at the same time I finish CPE.
2. Ruin. I've ruined my children by giving them only expensive chocolate. They will never want Hersey's again.
3. Related. I'm related to my children. Most definitely.
4. Reproduce. Seeing I have children, I have reproduced.
5. Repair. I've repaired the fruit bowl since it was broken. With Elmer's glue.
6. Refreshed. I've been refreshed by having to sleep in this last week. A cold can be OK, you know?
7. Remarkable. The friends I've made with this blogging thing are remarkable. And quite a blessing.
8. Redeemed. One of my favorite words. One of my deepest beliefs is that all things in the end will be redeemed. All things. As in Romans 8:28.
9. Romans. One of my favorite books of the Bible, 'specially Romans 8.
10. Remember. As in "Remember who you are and whose you are."

Choose a letter and do it. Just do it. And let me know.

Maybe the Kids DO Look Like Me

Chaos


Entropy


And Chaos has VERY flexible fingers

This Week

This week, since I've been home, my little one who I call "Entropy" has been particularly snuggly. I sit on the sofa and she snuggles with me. I sit in the "Lazy-Butt" chair and she gets in my lap. I go lay down and she's right there. She also has been really good about getting me glasses of water and cough-drops. I cough and it's "Do you need a cough drop, mama?" She's so very sweet.

I don't think I really understood how much you can love a child until I had one (or two). I love her long legs and her delicate fingers. She's all legs and thin little arms and bunches of hair right now and when she snuggles with me, it feels like I have a little bird under my arm.

She got in bed with me last night and snuggled against my back. I rolled over and took her in my arms. She snuggled up and looked me in the eyes and said, "Mama, can I ask you something?"

Expecting great and earth shatteringly profound questions, I said, "Sure, baby. Anything."

"Mama, can Monks lie?"

OK, not as profound as I would have thought.

"Sure baby, they can lie, but they try not to."

"Oh. Okay."

We went on to talk about Monks for a while. How they try not to kill anything, except maybe ants and how they wear funny clothing. Then she asked, "Mama, is it true that Orangutans have people DNA?"

"Gee, baby, I don't know. I know that most life on Earth shares some DNA."

"Well, most life on earth is made up of the same elements, too, right? But that doesn't mean that it's all the same. (long pause) Mama, what rhymes with Orangutan?"

We play the rhyming game for a while after that. (Ant, Bant, Cant, Dant, Eant, Fant, Gant, Hant and so on.... but in this case (Angutan, Bangutan, Cangutan and so on.)

"Mama, what do you pray for?"

"All sorts of stuff. What do you pray for?"

"That we get more chocolate. And that the ants go away. And that you get better (followed by a kiss). Sometimes I just get really thankful for stuff."

"Like what?"

"Chocolate. And the internet (like is this my kid or what?). But especially Mama and Daddy and Chaos and Little Kitty."

Gee, that's exactly what I'M thankful for too. Daddy and Chaos and Entropy and Little Kitty and Chocolate and the Internet.

Thanks, God.

I'm not feeling well.

Actually, I've been home since Tuesday with something I caught ... somewhere. Deep cough, fever, night sweats. It's just lovely. I'll have some hours to catch up on with the CPE, but all will be well.

My Black Belt

Sermon Number One For the Day

Worship at Un-named Children’s Hospital (Like you all don’t know where I am…)

Greeting

Lighting of the Candles by the children (all of them, blow a couple of them out if there isn’t enough -- We circulate with the candles and the candlelighter so that the kids in wheelchairs can participate) and sing “This Little Light of Mine”

Worship Sequence number 61 in the Celebration Hymnal, litany based on Nehemiah 9:5-6, “Blessed be the Lord God Almighty” then “All Creatures of Our God and King”

Sermon -- Ask, Search, Knock – Matthew 7:7-11

Introduce the Decision bag: Green velvet bag that has stuff inside. How do you make decisions? One of my friends lent me her decision bag – Let’s see what’s inside.

Piece of paper labeled with a big One. So first, it says “make no decision at all.” Illustration: Paper or Plastic – Making no decision is really making a decision or sometime the decision is obvious – should I get gas? Let’s eat at Chick-Fil-A on Sunday….

Piece of paper labeled with a big Two: Look! A Quarter – flip a coin. Illustration: where are we going to lunch today? Heads for Mexican, tails for Italian – ah, heads! How about best two out of three. Some times we have the decision already made.

Piece of paper Labeled with a big Three taped to a Magic 8 Ball. Hey, look a Magic 8 ball! Let’s ask some questions. Should we go to lunch right now or wait until after worship? Should I hug Kelly? Sorta like the coin, huh?

Piece of paper labeled with a big four taped on my cell phone: Call a friend. Huh, she’s not at home. Oh yeah, she's at church. Well, I can call my interior decorator to see where we need to go to lunch. Wait – she can tell me what color to paint my walls, but she doesn’t know what I need for lunch. Maybe not a good idea.

Piece of paper with number five: taped to a key chain that says “Ask, Seek, Knock” Matthew 7:7-11

7 ‘Ask, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. 8For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. 9Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for bread, will give a stone? 10Or if the child asks for a fish, will give a snake? 11If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

Hmmm… I think she told me once that for the big decisions, I should pray to God.

(OK, at this point I’ll either a) wrap it up or b) talk about how asking is first, seeking is getting active about it and knocking is persistence. Ask – if you can’t get your answer, seek the answers in the scriptures, in others around you, in their prayer life and faith and knock on God’s door until you get an answer. It may not be the answer we want – But God gives good things to those who are faithful.)

Hymn of Response – Seek Ye First – Celebration Hymnal #713

Prayers of the People

Closing Sequence – Celebration Hymnal #703 – 705 – Litany based on Psalm 34:408, “God will Make a Way”, “It is Well with My Soul”

Benediction

RevGal Friday Five -- Hot

OK, I'm not the best at doing the question thing.

So here's a picture with a thermal camera. I've discovered that I'm pretty cool.....



and a self portrait



I'm having fun with the little isight camera on the MacBook.

Jimmy C who I met in RLP's chatroom last night has an interesting posting pointing to this article.

Now, about 3 months ago, I would have been just as outraged as Jimmy. However, I have a new perspective.

We all assume that people are just like us. That OF COURSE that this person is going to think XYZ just like us. But it's not exactly true. Some people get so tied into grief that they can't think. Some people really don't have the best interest of the child at heart. Some people let their own psycological garbage take over. *

This article doesn't give enough information to really understand all the dynamics in the story. WHY did the kid and the parents choose alternative medicine? Are there other adults involved in the medical decision making like biological parents or grandparents? Was the alternative medicine being effective? What did the kid really want -- did he make this decision truly informed?

So, I would say that I just don't have enough information to judge what these parents are doing and this judge is doing. I'd like to hear more of the story.

*OK, now in a not so diplomatic ways -- some people are greedy/stupid/self centered/hopped up on drug themselves/limited in understanding or education/tied up in divorce and trying to hurt the other party -- who knows what's going on? I trust the Judge on this one. Also, who knows if these parents haven't been investigated by DFACS for a long time?

And I will conceed that it could be a violation of privacy. But I'm not going to assume it on the basis of this article.

An Argument for Chocolate

Chocolate is good for you. Yes, health food, even.

1)Chocolate helps your memory. At Wheeling Jesuit University Professor Bryan Raudenbush led a study "Effects of Chocolate Consumption Finds That Chocolate Consumption Enhances Cognitive Performance on Enhancing Cognative Performance" and determined that chocolate can improve your brain activity. I have not read the study, but I find it facinating.

2)Chocolate makes you feel good. Other research shows that some of the ingredients seem to affect the brain's neurotrasmitters. One is Tryptophan (which can also make you sleepy) but is utilized by the body to make seratonin, which is a neurotransmitter that releaves some of the symptoms of depression. Another is phenylethylamine which works by stimulating the pleasure centers of the brain.
A third is anandamide, which is a neurotransmitter that acts like THC, the active ingredient in cannabis (pot, mary jane).

3)Chocolate may prevent tooth decay, or at least according to scientists at Japan's Osaka University. The cocoa beans which are the raw chocolate product contain an antibacterial agent that fights plaque.

4)Chocolate contains called flavinoids, which thin the blood, helping to prevent clotting. Flavinoids are also anti-oxidents. They help prevent heart disease.


5) Chocolate helps you live longer. At Harvard, research shows that people who eat chocolate as rarely as three times a month live approximately a year longer than those who do not eat chocolate at all. However, only for very dark chocolate, as the fat and sugar in milk chocolate will counteract the benefit.

6) Chocolate is being researched to see if it can help the immune system. The chemical polyphenol CMP, which is contained by chocolate, may inhibit the rheumatic response (arthritis) and inhibits IgE which worsens atopic dematitis and asthma.

Thus, I argue that one MUST eat at least one square of dark Lindt Chocolate or it's chocolatey equivalent at least once a day.

Submitted, July 25, 2006 to those who would prevent Chocolate purchases at my house by the Reverend Mommy.

And now for something completely different

That turned out surprisingly good.

Do you know this scene? I haven't been to the store in a while. Family is hungry. Time to "invent." This invention was actually pretty good.

1 package of frozen ravioli (cheese)
1 stick butter
1/2 a head of broccoli
1/4 of an onion
1/2 cup mushrooms
1 cup marble cheddar
can of broth
4 oz of sour cream

That's what was on hand. My mission? To combine the ingredients into something passable.

So...
I started by melting the butter and making a white sauce. OK, no milk, so I used flour (about 1/4 cup) and broth. Then I put in some cheese and sour cream, salt and pepper. I cut up all the vegetables, dumped the ravioli into a baking dish with the veggies, poured the sauce on top, topped with cheese and baked for 1/2 hour on 350.

It was very nice with a salad and a glass of wine.

Now for tomorrow’s dinner – what can I do with a can of pumpkin pie filler, a can of stewed tomatoes and a can of tuna?

Answer? Go to the store.

An Afternoon at the Koi Pond

Actually, it was just lunch.

RevGal Friday 5

Edited because I have mush for brains right now. I left people out of my "Want to meet list."

1) What is your first memory of the RevGalBlogPals? Hmmm.... I remember more than a year ago feeling isolated. I had blogged a couple of years before that and dropped the blog. I restarted my blog in November of 2004 (?). I blogged for a while, coasting around looking for like-minded people. I found St. Casserole. I started commenting. I found Reverend Mother, Songbird, Emily and Jane Ellen. I commented more. I discovered a Polar Bear. I kept a blogroll and started sorting it according to "nice people" and "fellow clergypeople." When Reverend Mother started the Cafe-Press store, I started a webpage and a webring. Songbird and I managed it for a long time -- I'm now in CPE, so Songbird is doing it more or less by herself. I promise I will pick it up again in the Fall.

2) Have you met any of the other ring members in real life? Yep. You wanna list? First, Cheesehead. Then Lydia, Stacey, Songbird, Reverend Mother, Not-Shy, The Casserole, Rev Abi, Gavin (who has great hair) and someone else, but I can't remember b/c my brains are oatmeal.
I'm meeting Teri (Clever Title Here) on Monday....

3) Of those you haven't met, name a few you would love to know in person. PPB, for sure. Cathy Knits, Lorna, Bad Alice, Church Lady (she's going to be my sec. one day....), Wills Mama, Helen, Pink Shoes, QG, Mibi, Jane Ellen, Emily, Mary Beth, Mindy and Rach (like, who WOULDN'T like to me that pair!), PureChristianIThink, Caroline of the Alabaster Jar, SingingOwl, the LutheranChik, James, Jeff, Church Nerd (aka Mark), Susan, Inner Dorothy, Haevy Revvies, Juniper68 and how could I not meet Gord and Tripp and OF COURSE Kathryn, whose Parts are Very Very Good and Sally and do I have to do this? Repeat Oatmeal comment.
I actually would like to meet you all... After all, I'm a smidge extroverted.

4) What has Ring Membership added to your life? Wow. Lots. A sense of "I'm not alone in all this." A touchstone for my day. Wonderful friendships, real and virtual.

5) Describe a hope for the future of the WebRing. I'm listening. I want a conference and more F2F meet up IRL. I would LOVE to do more books.

Duty calls... later.

Hard Week

It's been a hard week for the chaplaincy office. Two deaths in the NICU and perhaps as many as three more last night. Everyone looks tired.

The heat is also exhausting. When RM teased about 100 degree, uphill walks -- it really wasn't much of a tease. I'm drinking lots of water.

I have maybe 20 days left? I'm losing count. School starts for the girls on the 14th, and I'm not finished until the next week. I'll take a break at that point and determine what's next. At this point, I'm still trying to discern my path.

Ah, Discerment. Nice word, eh? Easy to say/plan, hard to actually do.

Donne for the Day

Whilst my physicians by their love are grown
Cosmographers, and I their map, who lie
Flat on this bed, that by them may be shown
That this is my south-west discovery,
Per fretum febris, by these straits to die ;

I joy, that in these straits I see my west ;
For, though those currents yield return to none,
What shall my west hurt me ? As west and east
In all flat maps—and I am one—are one,
So death doth touch the resurrection.

John Donne, "Hymne to God my God in my sicknesse"

Random

1) I want those little Segway things the security people ride around this hospital. I'd be a Chaplain on wheels.
2) I want to thank the six to ten of you who are still reading.
3) I've been a victim of identity theft via ebay. Someone hijacked my account and put some unauthorized listings on. It's been a real pain to deal with. Moral of the story -- Always Change Your Passwords. Every two weeks -- every month -- whatever. I hadn't done it in a while. Who knows how the slimebag got my password. Just Change it.

1 “If it had not been the LORD who was on our side,
Let Israel now say
2 “If it had not been the LORD who was on our side,
When men rose up against us,
3 Then they would have swallowed us alive,
When their wrath was kindled against us;
4 Then the waters would have overwhelmed us,
The stream would have gone over our soul;
5 Then the swollen waters
Would have gone over our soul.

6 Blessed be the LORD,
Who has not given us as prey to their teeth.
7 Our soul has escaped as a bird from the snare of the fowlers;
The snare is broken, and we have escaped.
8 Our help is in the name of the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth.
--Psalm 124

It's Sunday afternoon and I'm on call at the hospital. I have many things floating around in my head. First and foremost, I wonder about the theology of being overwhelmed. This experience has been about being overwhelmed. There is just too much. Too much driving, too much laundry, too much hospital food, too much suffering and pain. I am overcome with it all -- it is overpowering. I know that this is just a sign of the tiredness-- the exhaustion that come from long hours, little rest, the long drive and so very much to do at home. But.

I wonder if being overwhelmed by all this prepares me in a very concrete way for an overwhelming by God, We depend so much on our own understanding -- we depend on our intellect and science, but what has intellect and science to do with coping with pain and suffering? The Psalmist here is overwhelmed by the wild and raging waters -- and swollen waters threatened to swallow him whole -- and yet God gave escape. His soul flew as a bird.

This morning I was overwhelmed by the welcome I was given by the children and families in this hospital. They were open and gracious to me -- and I was blessed by them. I was overwhelmed by their generous and loving spirits. It was a beautiful thing to see.

Peace, y'all.

More pictures of Great Egret and Snowy Egret
Click on the picture for more detail.

Oxford College

or rather, Emory at Oxford
Seney Hall


The Chapel


Seney Hall

More Photos

Why we don't skinny dip behind the beach house


Great Egret


Snowy Egret


Young Snowy


Tri-Color Heron


Seashell

One of my favorite things

to do is to take pictures. So, for your enjoyment, here are some pictures.

First, Old Church in Oxford, Georgia.

From Harbor Island, SC some seashells:

Great Egret

Tri-color Heron, Breeding Plumage


Beaufort National Cemetery

pet peeves

OK, the RevGal Friday Five is about pet peeves. I have a couple.
First, snakes are VENOMOUS not poisonous. Only things YOU eat can be poisonous.
The thing in your car that makes it go is an engine, not a motor. Engines run off chemical energy, motors off electrical energy. Or at least they do in my universe.

I could post about liturgical boo-boos, but really, they don't bother me THAT much.

Heh.

An Afternoon Prayer

O Light of the world,
You are the pure brightness of the ever-living God,
You are our God, holy and blest!
We come to the setting of the sun,
and our eyes fall upon the dwindling light,
We see your Glory and beauty and
We are moved to sing your praises.
You are worthy at all times to be praised by happy voices,
O God, O Giver of life,
Praised by happy voices and glorified throughout the world.

Lord God, Maker and King of the universe,
We give to you all honor, glory, praise, and worship;
We praise you in all things, in all places and in all circumstances because we know that you love us. We know that you are in control over all things, including the things we cannot understand and those things that cause us pain and suffering.

God, we try to give thanks for trials and hardships but at times it is so very hard. We understand that life is a test, that you only give a hard test to a good student, that you never trip up a slow student with an impossibly difficult test, but God it is difficult.

Grant us wisdom and insight to find the little bright moments in these hardships. Help us find meaning in our suffering.

Lord, when you hung upon the cross, you experienced the most piercing form of loneliness and abandonment ever experienced by any human being. Have mercy on us, remember us in our loneliness. Lord, our hearts aches for fellowship. We grow discouraged, because there are few to share with. Grant us others to stand with us. Help us to take that help, even though it can hurt our pride.

Send your Spirit to fill us, to guide and strengthen us, to protect us from our own weaknesses; send your holy angels to counsel and defend us. Send us into the world to do your will.

Lord, we do not understand the things that trouble us now. Therefore we thank you for this adversity, because it has brought things into sharp focus, it has to power to bring us closer to each other and closer to you. We ask for your grace to persevere in faith as long as this trial shall last.

duh

I was on call last night, after a full day and then worked a full day today. A Day filled with CPE fun. My brain cells are gone. I don't know where they are, but someone has replaced them with chewed bubble gum. I feel numb/dumb. That's a 32 hour shift. And now I can't sleep. What's up with that?

Morning Prayer

At your feet, O Christ, we lay
your own gift of this new day;
Doubt of what it holds in store
Makes us crave your aid the more;
Even in a time of loss,
Mark, it Savior, with your Cross.

--Words: William Bright (19thC) adapted

I love you, O LORD my strength,
O LORD my stronghold, my crag, and my haven.
My God, my rock in whom I put my trust, *
my shield, the horn of my salvation, and my refuge;
you are worthy of praise.
I will call upon the LORD, *
and so shall I be saved from my enemies.

-- Psalm 18:1-3


Good and Gracious God,
from you comes every good and perfect gift:
Send down your Spirit down upon our people, our ministers, our clergy, and upon the congregations committed to their care
Send your healthful Spirit of grace upon them
and pour upon them the continual dew of your blessing.
Grant this, O Lord, for the honor of our Advocate and Mediator.

Good and Gracious God,
You are the Good Shepherd of your sheep
you gather the lambs in your arms and carry them in your bosom
I commend to your loving care all the children under this roof.
Relieve their pain, guard them from all danger, restore to them your gifts of gladness and strength,
and raise them up to a life full of your grace and glory.
for your dear Name's sake. Amen.

A Wesleyan Take on Visiting the Sick

I believe that there is a "a marrow of truth" that stretches across humankind that can be expressed in the Wesleyan Quadrilateral.

• Truth is grounded in Scripture
• Truth is illumined by tradition and history
• Truth is colored by experience (or made vivid)
• Truth is confirmed by reason

My understanding of truth is grounded in these things – starting with the Bible. I take the Bible very seriously, not just literally and believe that the wisdom of these writings should always be considered but I also believe that each and every person maintains the right to rethink and rework their own personal theology throughout their lifetime. I believe in pure and true worship even though that may take on many forms and believe that the highest purpose of humankind is to glorify God and enjoy God’s presence forever. This is the reason we are created.

I am very sacramental and believe that the sacraments are not merely symbolic, but that something real and substanative occurs in the life of the partaker. I am involved in and impassioned by true social justice -- that which is grounded in the righteousness of God; in particular I feel that there is special concern for the poor and the oppressed expressed by all the prophet, by Jesus and by God. I believe that in each and every human interaction there is room for the Grace of God – prevenient, justifying and sanctifying and that as an expression of the Grace that we have received, we become the hands and feet of that Grace for others. This demands personal and corporate acts of mercy and acts of piety.

Acts of Piety can be both corporate and individual, in fact they have to be both. Balance is essential. They include: Prayer, Study of the Scripture, Holy Communion, Fasting, Fellowship in Christian Community and Healthy Living. Acts of Mercy also are corporate and individual, always considering what is right, correct and moral: Visiting the Sick and Visiting those Imprisoned, Feeding and Clothing those without, Earning, Saving and Giving all that one can, Opposition to Oppression in all the forms that it takes, being a Good Steward of all that God has made.

Therefore, as I act as a minister, I am God’s hands and feet. I act, not out of obligation or duty, but from an outpouring of the bounty that I am given and my grateful attitude. I can be a Grace-bearer for God and a conduit of God’s undeserved and unconditional love. By visiting the sick, Grace is given to both the patient and also to me in a real and concrete way. How does this work? It’s a mystery because it is essential and foremost God's inital action -- mine are just an outpouring of what God has already done. As with my beliefs about Eucharist, it’s not up to me, or about me nor do I have to understand it. It is a holy and sacred moment and visiting the sick has overtures of being sacramental.

In a sacrament, God uses tangible, material things as vehicles or instruments of grace. Wesley defines a sacrament, in accord with his Anglican tradition, as "an outward sign of inward grace, and a means whereby we receive the same. Sacraments are sign-acts, which include words, actions, and physical elements. They both express and convey the gracious love of God. They make God's love both visible and effective in a new and exciting way. This is what is done in the visiting of the sick. As I continue to visit, I am being shaped into the image of Christ – sometimes it is a blessing and sometimes it is a very painful experience.

So, this is what I've been thinking about.

Today I Celebrate the Freedom to Vote

With snippets of Elizabeth Cady Stanton's final speech.

The point I wish plainly to bring before you on this occasion is the individuality of each human soul; our Protestant idea, the right of individual conscience and judgment—our republican idea, individual citizenship. In discussing the rights of woman, we are to consider, first, what belongs to her as an individual, in a world of her own, the arbiter of her own destiny, an imaginary Robinson Crusoe with her woman Friday on a solitary island. Her rights under such circumstances are to use all her faculties for her own safety and happiness.
...
And yet, there is a solitude, which each and every one of us has always carried with him, more inaccessible than the ice-cold mountains, more profound than the midnight sea; the solitude of self. Our inner being, which we call ourself, no eye nor touch of man or angel has ever pierced. It is more hidden than the caves of the gnome; the sacred adytum of the oracle; the hidden chamber of eleusinian mystery, for to it only omniscience is permitted to enter. Such is individual life. Who, I ask you, can take, dare take, on himself the rights, the duties, the responsibilities of another human soul?

Updates

I'm still alive -- but my computer is not. The laptop has given up the ghost. After 12 hours of continual use daily for 2 and a half years, after dropping it several times (once from a hight of 4 feet while running onto a stone floor), the laptop is ill. We are trying to see if a new motherboard/disk drive will save it, but only time will tell.

Chaos went to music camp at Oxford College this last week and we had the concert at Old Church. It's a beautiful building, full of history and ghosts.


Old Church was built in 1841 as the first Chapel of Emory University. It never was a part of the university, but the leaders of the University also were the leaders of the church. Much later (1910), the congregation moved to a newer building now known as Allen Memorial UMC. Old Church served as an infirmary during the Civil War and was the site of many Annual Conferences. It is where in 1844 the slavewoman Kitty ownership was debated -- and the place where the Methodist church split in two over her. Kitty's Cottage is at the side/back of the church and is open as a museum. Kitty’s Cottage was the home built for her after she was freed by Bishop O. Andrews, who lived next door to Old Church. Even though Kitty was free, she did not want to leave the Bishop’s family, therefore they built the cottage for her and she lived there until her death, as a free woman.


The interior of the church at the rededication in 1999.


Kitty's Cottage

So many events, so much history. The chapel is a quiet, restful place. I wonder at it. The kids at camp sang two African/American spirituals directly under the balconies built for the slaves of the wealthy -- "Sometimes I fell like a motherless child" and "Wade in the Water." I reflect on how far we have come and how far left we have to go.

CPE has been tiring, part because it is CPE and part because of the very long commute. I've been collecting information about the history of Scottish Rite Hospital. I've been reflecting on history. More later.