Refocusing

I have been sick this week. The LH has been sick for a long time -- maybe 5 weeks? Entropy was next -- she's been under the weather since just before Thanksgiving with strep throat. Chaos may have mono -- the doctor is 90 percent sure, just waiting for the blood test.

This makes me refocus. I have had a bunch of things on my "to do list." Some of them have been there for quite a while. I've gotten a lot of them done ... but when things happen, when people get sick -- it causes me to refocus. Why am I doing this or that? What is the purpose? What is really important?

There are two time in the year that make me refocus -- Advent and Lent. They used to be both penitential seasons; times to reflect on sins of omission and sins of commission. Now Advent seems more of a refocusing time, where it's not as much a time to reflect on me and my stuff -- but a time to reflect on how I might make room for the Baby. How can I make space for the incarnation? This is internal, liminal and external -- within myself, within my relationships with others and in the world.

I have been on a journey this last year or so of Purging. The great purge is continuing -- we hit Entropy's room this week and gave away 12 or so large black garbage bags of clothing, toys, stuffed animals and books. Why should we hoard it when others could use it? The person who received the bags was appreciative -- she's taking care of a crop of foster kids and all of it will be used one way or another. This feels good. I gave another bag of clothing to my sister who will use them. This feels good, too. I have given away two guitars, 5o+ movies on VHS, books, more books, knick-knacks and some of my clothing. I am feeling lighter. I am basking in the light.

I am still moving through Purgation; I am resting a while in the Illumination; perhaps Union will be next -- I thought of them as individual stages for so long. Perhaps they exists simultaniously. Perhaps I shouldn't wait for complete Purgation before I can find Illumination.

The true light, which enlightens everyone, is coming into the world. (John 1:9) Let us make room in our hearts for the Baby.

edited: She definitely has mono. So she's home until after Christmas. At least she can get some rest and study for all those finals she's missing.