I really have ramped down from a month ago. It's still a retreat kind of time. The girls will be in school until next Wednesday and so I am setting my own agenda. I am having a hard time thinking difficult thoughts. It's like I have thought all I can think for a while and my brain is on vacation.
I did start facilitating a new class on prayer on Monday night. (I know, I end two really long and difficult Disciple classes and what do I do? I start a new class!) It's amazing to me that I am considered a "prayer expert" when I feel so far from that. I have spent a lot of time thinking about prayer and I try to spend time in prayer every day, but does that make me an expert? It just seems to point out to me what I don't know -- I talk convincingly about types of prayers and prayer time and journaling and I do some of these, but I begin to think that with all the reading, study and contemplation I have done, I haven't even begun to scratch the surface about "Prayer."
I realized that I use the same phrases and thoughts over and over, to the point that they become rote. I try to read the Lectionary texts a couple of weeks in advance and write a prayer based on what is revealed to me in those lections and then try to pray that prayer for a week. I also began to collect bits of collects. I am keeping a spreadsheet with these bits and pieces and am writing a "CollectBot" or "PrayerBot." By placing these bits and pieces in new configurations, the prayers seem to be fresh and new -- and not as rote. Of course, sometimes they are a bit silly or disconcerting, but maybe there is value in that as well. Off to finish my 'Bot.
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