Tuesday, June 21, 2005

There are days

There are days where
I don’t know who I am looking
This way and that for external forms
Of validation, of approval, of acceptance
Of blessing, or dare I even breathe it,

Time and time again I ask for God to
Use me, to call me a worthy vessel, for God
To keep me close, to shelter me, to show me love

I feel the grit of the sand and not its softness,
I feel my shadowside, I feel the dark
I feel the coldness of abandonment or maybe of
Abandon wild.

Abandon I cry out I want more
But can’t express what is more knowing always the less.
I cannot be more, there isn’t more

To be
Existence is it answer enough in itself
Or will there ever be a time where
I will know that I am enough
there are days where
I don’t know who I am.

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