I have been wondering whether to blog -- or not to blog. I know there are people who read this -- people I'm close to, people who might not like what they read, people who might be keeping score, people I might hurt. I don't know.

It's been a hard couple of weeks -- more like a hard couple of months. I'm tired right now and so I know that I am vulnerable and open to all sorts of emotions right now. I've been discouraged about the ministry (that's one of those things that I don't know I should blog...). I'm discouraged about especially administration of churches.

I love the people in my congregation. But this ministry stuff is difficult. Today was difficult. We had a funeral for a 20 year old football star -- the winning quarterback. He graduated last year and died on 9/11 in an automobie accident. There were 650 people packed in our sanctuary that can hold 400. It was so quiet -- and hot. The air shimmered with heat. There was no sound but the sound of the sobbing mother -- she doesn't understand why and how. Why did he die -- how will they go on. Who can answer?